GRRRRRRgh

I don't understand what I do.. I mean i'm not a bad friend am I? But how can every single one of my friends stop talking to me all at the same time? I mean my BEST friends.. There's NO ONE! Nothing.. I've never been very lucky with friends.. no one who ever seemed to want to stick around. It just sucks.. I try. I try very hard to make and keep friends. People don't realize how much I actually do try. It's not easy for me to just randomly befriend people. It's especially not easy for me to open up to someone. ESPECIALLY because every seems to just up and leave with me. I've been having the feeling that perhaps I wasn't ever meant to have friends. Perhaps I never will have friends. Maybe i'll get married.. but that's not looking up either. and I know everyone's going to read tihs.. haha did I just say that everyone reads my blog. HAHAHAHAH! that was funny. But I mean when you read this you're going to think or say something along the lines. You don't know what's in store for you. or I"m your friend Katie. Or don't be in such a rush.. I've heard it.. I've listened.. but I know myself probably better than you.. I know my life better than you and i KNOW what is going on. Friends suck. Family rules and well that's what i'm sticking with. I think i'll cut myself off from the outside world until I leave for school. No more friends No more text messaging unless it's family. I"m just sick of trying to be good to someone only to get it slapped in my face OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.. and YOU!
Oh you.. you have better know how incredibly hurt I am by you.. I poured my soul out to you. told you things I have never told anyone in my life.. and this is how you repay me? I've never told anyone things I told you.. NO ONE! I can't believe that you would call me your best friend.. I can't believe you would dare to say i'll always be in life and then completely cut me out of it. I don't think i've ever felt so hurt by anyone.. "Nothing comes between friends, especially fences" -budweiser commercial from the superbowl. I just.. I don't know I don't see how something that could be put before me.
Some people's children..
I"m just upset and mad
if you don't hear from me ever again..
read this freaking blog and think about what you've done.

I don't love you all.. Only some of you tonight. <3

Katie Wan.