Lack of a Best Friend..

I love the fact that when i'm going through one of the hardest times of my life my best friend is nowhere to be found. Good thing I have wonderful other people in my life to help me through. Le sigh. Sometimes I feel that I just need to get married so I can always have someone there for me on my side and my side alone. Let's make it a goal to find a husband soon? I think so. I mean really.. GAH pants! I kinda just want to punch people in the face, but it's okay.. I'll make it through. :).
I've been writing a lot of one of my books called The Secret. I rather like it. I also got another pretty good idea for another book in my head and it's mulling over as we speak. I've also gotten addresses for agents.. I need to start sending out queries and such. Thursday marks the second round of the ABNA competition. So basically, i'm about to go insane..
I need to make a wand soon.. Before the leaves start to come back on the trees. I need to go find some good sticks. I also broke my retainer off by eating a caramel apple.. well only two thingys are off.. but still I need to get that fixed. Balls. Uhm. Have I mentioned lately that people just kinda suck. haha.
I watched a really good movie tonight.. It was called Life as a House. It was rated R so if you don't watch those.. I don't recommend it.. but if you do, check it out. It was pretty good. :).
Well really.. I have no idea why I wrote this. Just kinda wanted to tell you what's going on.
I love you.
Remember who you are and what you stand for.
KD Wan.

The Office..

I have a dream..
This dream is to have the BEST writing office in the world. Someday when I am published and can buy my dream lake house I will build my dream office. It will have large doors that will open out to the lake so I can watch the bugs jump from the grass and listen to the ducks on the water. I will fish from my dock and spend all of my summers next to the trunk of the willow right next to the lake. The walls will be filled with books that I have read, or have yet to read, in my life time. There will be many comfy bean bags and couches for me to curl up on and read the books from the wall. A fireplace will be on one wall for the winter months.. It will be a truly magnificent and creative place..
Thanks for listening to my dreams..

KDWan

The Reaction.

Truthfully it's amazing how we react to situations.. Like, lets say your best friend slept with your boyfriend. How would you think you would react.. you'd be frustrated, angry.. but what if you woke up and thought, really they are kinda perfect for each other and didn't feel a single thing. What if your great aunt that you have never met in your life dies.. you shouldn't be upset.. but what if you go to her funeral and can't stop crying. Really, there is absolutely no way you know how you'll react. Right now i'm going through a rough time, as some of you may know. I'm not going to say what's going on here, but just know that i'm not reacting the way I would've thought. But now that it's happening I can't seem to change my mind any other way. The strange thing is, the second this whole thing happened I've just wanted to listen and read Harry Potter.. It seems to be my only comfort right now.. Anyways.. I just thought that I would let you all know that you can't control your emotions no matter how much you think you can. I love you all.

Remember who you are and what you stand for..
<3 KD Wan John Silver Martin

Think about it..

Love:
It's a funny thing isn't it? It's probably the only thing that can force anyone to do almost anything. If you think about it, we are all it's slave. Whether it forces to do good or whether it forces us to do bad. I sometimes wonder what lengths I will go to for love. Sometimes I'm afraid of my own answer. Sometimes I worry that I will throw everything I've ever worked for away, just for someone. And then i worry that I won't throw too much away. You can't look someone in the eye and tell them that love doesn't control you. Who's to say it's a bad thing. If someone has love in their life should we be celebrating it? Shouldn't we be striving for the same love they have? Then we always try to decide who can love who. We try to define love. But truthfully what do you define love as? I define it as, caring solely for one person, always caring about their feelings, wanting to know how their day went. Love is curling up on the couch and watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn and not being afraid to cry when the sad parts come on, knowing that your love will wrap their arms around you and just let you know that it's okay to cry and that they think you're beautiful no matter what. That's Love.. To me. And I guess that's the point i'm trying to make through this ramble of words and thoughts. How can we define love? How can we tell someone they aren't allowed to love someone else? Love to someone else may mean, staying with them even when their family is killed. Or Even they are killed for loving each other. It's sad to know that my worries come with maybe losing support from family members when others worries are a lot more worse than ours.
Valentines day is coming up, maybe that's what's got me thinking.. I don't want to celebrate Valentines day because somewhere in the world someone else can't celebrate it with someone they love and why can't they? Because we've decided who they can and can't love. Some people throw everything away for love.. They don't have any other option and that's sad. It's sad that this world is so screwed up that this has to be this way. So really, Love is Love. So before you celebrate Valentines day think about the people in this world who can't because it's illegal. Before you look into your special someone's eyes remember that somebody else can't because they might be killed for it. Just think about about it..

Remember who you are and what you stand for..

KD Wan.